Today I am done.

I hope to remember this date as the anniversary of me finally deciding to get rid of you. My heart and head are not done with you, but my body (wreaked from anxiety) has had enough of the idea of you. It is an addiction that takes me on an emotional roller coaster weekly. I feel like I cannot keep living if I continue with my toxic ways. The high you give me is like a fucking drug and I have no idea why it affects me so. I don’t care if I have to drag myself through each day for the next 365, this time next year- I will be free of any feeling for you. I want to pass you in the street and feel indifference. I am going to make myself want this so badly that I cannot fail. My tools - fitness, studying and financial indulgence.